Ah, the holidays. Busy, busy times, much to do, and not enough time. A little history. When I was growing up, my mom's family lived a great distance from us and were never a part of our holidays. My father's family lived (mostly) in our small town and we, at least when I was small, usually got together with them, usually at our house. Mom would cook a wonderful meal, complete with seafood cocktails for starters and going on through the turkey with trimmings to pies, pumpkin and mincemeat. Our decorations were simple: a tree and a few other things including a small creche.
My best friend when I was growing up lived a few blocks away and had a large extended family including grown sisters and a brother along with their families. Christmas was a huge undertaking at their house and I was part of it, if only on the edges. I loved it all! Decorations, indoors and out, a huge tree, days of baking, stockings, and a huge gathering on Christmas Eve.
When Dan and I married and finally settled into our first little house (complete with mortgage), I began to recreate the Christmases I remembered at my friend's house. I made stockings (very simple ones at first) and fortunately, Dan liked to decorate the outside of the house with lights. I was on my way! As the years passed, I added more and more to our traditions. Decorations in every room of the house, yes, including the bathrooms! I baked and baked. Christmas was almost always at our house, with Mom and Dad coming to stay. After our kids grew up and married, we continued to celebrate here most years and it grew to having four generations celebrating together. We missed my brother and his family during most of this time because he lived in the midwest and south. Phone calls united us as we passed the phone around to share thanks and love. I loved it all!
Fast forward to the last few years. Dan and I have grown older (not old, but older!), and we can tell our energy levels have dropped. Our son moved far away and is no longer a part of our celebrations. My parents are elderly and lately struggling with health issues. Things change. I need to learn to change. I realized that this year when, in an attempt to be all and do all for Christmas, I once again came down with a bad cold. Too much to do, and I wore myself out. Which does not make for good Christmas memories.
My brother and sister-in-law are back in our state, although quite a ways away. Their second daughter, Kirsten, is three hours away from us, and a plan was hatched to celebrate Christmas with our whole family at her house--my parents, Dan and I, and Bruder Bear and his family minus their oldest daughter, Jennifer who lives in the south. I worked hard to cure my cold, but Dad was down with a bad back, so plans were somewhat up in the air. Then my sister-in-law called to say that Bruder Bear was in the hospital with chest pains (they were already at Kirsten's) and tests were being run. Prayers were sent up and we were prepared to stay home.
The next day, all tests showed John's heart was fine, so he called to tell us to get in the car and come on over. After assuring us he was fine, he convinced us to do just that, so we packed and started our drive. Mom and Dad, however, had decided not to go, and so they stayed home (which may have been the best for Dad's back, anyway).
We had a great time at Kirsten's. Karen cooked up her usual storm and we ate like kings--crab legs, prime rib, eggs benedict for breakfast... I had a few moments of guilt as I sat while she worked, but I did get to fix breakfast the day after Christmas. And Dan hung a blind in Kirsten's kitchen that she'd been unable to get up herself.
We were thankful to spend this Christmas in the company of people we love so much. The real meaning of Christmas is so easy to lose amidst all the planning, doing, and even the traditions that mean so much. Remembering that Christmas is Jesus' birthday and that he came to set us free and give us eternal life is the REAL reason for this time. Christmas: It's all about love--God's love and the love of family and friends. I hope I remember that next year.
Sorry to hear you were under the weather! I don't think I've EVER had crab legs--can you believe that? I would probably like them, but it looks like a lot of work. Did you make a breakfast of ebelskevers or whatever they're called?
ReplyDeleteI've only had crab legs a few times, but these were wonderful. And not a lot of work--my crab popped right out!
DeleteFor breakfast, I made my "famous" breakfast hash: leftover potatoes sliced and browned in olive oil, then I added peppers, onions and julienned summer squash left from our Christmas Eve dinner, and finally browned, crumbled sausage. I scrambled eggs, and we added toasted English muffins. It was delish, if I do say so myself!
What a revealing post! I think I recognize myself and I'm not necessarily proud of it. All that glitters isn't gold, you know. My journey from my mother's Christmas celebration to my own continues. And I'm just not going to say very much here -- for a change -- except that my mother was sick during the season every year. And depressed in January. That's not right. Nor is it right that you sat on the edges, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI used to spend many an hour pulling meat out of crab legs. It IS a lot of work. No more!
Oh Kathy, I didn't write this to make you feel bad--I loved the Christmases of my family's past, but now I need to change so that they work for now. Your family's Christmases always seemed magical to me, and I hope I made magical Christmases for my family over the years. There's more magic to be had, just of a different kind.
DeleteWe all pulled our own crab, but then we were all adults, so we could. :-)
I was already feeling sad and you didn't make me feel sadder. I think you put it into words very well -- we're older but not old, and yet what we had as kids is not going to come back. We can't recreate it -- not even the way it looked or smelled. And that's why I spend the month of December writing about a nostalgic Christmas which was not part of my experience -- to recapture something. It's very hard to talk about this because I have people in the "now" of my life who care and give it effort -- and I know you're grateful for those you love, too.
DeleteAnd I should have said previously that I was relieved to hear that John is well after that scary experience. And I hope that things have improved with your parents.
You've said it well, too. We're both thankful for precious memories, and now we have more, although perhaps quite different, ones to make. And yes, we are all so glad John is well!
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